On the BorderLine » Humor

Farve – Pants on the Ground!

In the Know — Sun, 17 Jan 2010 22:51:38 +0000

Today’s Funny

Lieutenant Dan — Tue, 29 Dec 2009 06:02:33 +0000

Sin Cup’s Wife: If You’re Gonna Get Laid I’m Gonna Get Paid..

Flashy — Thu, 10 Dec 2009 01:49:07 +0000

A Tiger Woods holiday poem, by “Iron Mike” Tyson…

. . . . . . Twas the night of Thanksgiving, and out of the house, came Tiger Woods flying – being chased by his spouse

She wielded a nine-iron cause she wasnt too merry; a bimbos phone number she found on his Blackberry..

He’d been cheatin on poor little Elin, and as each day went by another whore came out squealin.

Hed been on Holly, on Jaime, on Rachel, on Cory, on Joslin, Kalika – TMZ had the story..

From the top of the world to above the fold, Tigers ever more sordid tale it was told.

With hostesses, waitresses – he had lots of sex and when he wasnt hosen-em he sent them hot text.

He crashed his caddy, but didnt call OnStar – yet he played ’spank me daddy’ with a skanky old porn star.

Hes been naughty so with Santa he hasnt a chance, cept a big lump of coal to match the lump in his pants.

But despite all his cryin, and beggin, and pleadin, she went right out and bought a new house in Sweden!

And I heard her exclaim as she packed up the Escalade, IF YOURE GONNA GET LAID IM GONNA GET PAID..

Now shes not pouting, in fact of good cheer, cause her pre-nup made Christmas come early this year!

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Flashy — Sat, 21 Nov 2009 05:26:45 +0000

And if you listen carefully you can hear Sarah Palin in the background…

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Negotiabama

Flashy — Tue, 17 Nov 2009 00:45:09 +0000

Just for re-starters, how about a little subtle humor??

Obama To Enter Diplomatic Talks With Raging Wildfire

The Post Turtle

Flashy — Fri, 31 Jul 2009 18:46:54 +0000

While suturing a cut on the hand of a 75 year old rancher, who’s hand was caught in the gate while working cattle, the doctor struck up a conversation with the old man. Eventually the topic got around to Obama and his bid to be our president.

The old rancher said, ‘Well, ya know, Obama is a ‘Post Turtle”.

Not being familiar with the term, the doctor asked him what a ‘post turtle’ was.

The old rancher said, ‘When youre driving down a country road and you come across a fence post with a turtle balanced on top, that’s a ‘post turtle’.

The old rancher saw the puzzled look on the doctor’s face so he continued to explain. ‘You know he didn’t get up there by himself, he doesn’t belong up there, and he doesn’t know what to do while he’s up there, and you just wonder what kind of dumb ass put him up there to begin with’

Can you tell the difference?

Flashy — Tue, 28 Apr 2009 17:22:49 +0000

Sordid details here.. What a pathetic loser.

Mock Officer Glen Hartman Runs Mock Crash

N. Onimous — Wed, 22 Apr 2009 23:50:41 +0000

Glen Hartman, mock officer on the Hudson Police Farce, coordinated the mock crash at the Hudson High School last week. Mr. Hartman, known for his rather worthless record, showed how real this type of crash could be. After the drunk driver was pulled from the wreckage, Officer Glen drover the drunk home to avoid taking the breathalizer. After waiting approximately 45 minutes, Officer Glen then drove back to the the drunk’s house and administered the test. While this is not the exact protocol that most police force’s use, it’s how Glen Hartman protects his favorite political buddies. So let’s go through just a little of Glen’s record- First he beats the sh.. out of an EMT on a helicopter pad, then he removes innocent citizens from a school board meeting, after that he gives Vicky Bear a ride home drunk! Was Officer Glen dismissed for this behavior? NO! He was PROMOTED! Way to go Glen!!!!

Must Read Humor

Flashy — Sat, 18 Apr 2009 15:09:42 +0000

One of the great scandals of our age is the fact that America spends more on food than any other nation. Many political leaders are now calling for urgent reform to bring spending on food under control. While food spending is rapidly increasing and many Americans are overweight, some do not have enough to eat.

In spite of this high spending, the United Nations reports that, according to surveys they sent to government officials around the world, the quality of U.S. food is ranked very low. Results from officials in France report that their food is the best in the world. Although that needs to be taken with a grain of Dijon, it might be true. More insulting is the higher ranking that British experts give their food.

Read the rest..!

Old News, But New Glen Hartman Training!!!

N. Onimous — Tue, 14 Apr 2009 22:53:23 +0000

Former Dells police officer who forced Guard members to lick urine faces new charges
Wheeler News Service
Published Friday, April 03, 2009

A former Wisconsin Dells police officer accused of making two soldiers lick urine last year has now been charged with stalking a former girlfriend in Sun Prairie.

Collin Jacobson, 21, of Lake Delton is free on a signature bond after being charged in Dane County Thursday with felony stalking and false imprisonment and misdemeanor battery.

Hes due back in court April 20. According to prosecutors, Jacobson and a woman broke up last November and he left to become a police officer in Albuquerque, N.M.

He quit soon after that and allegedly made contact with his ex-girlfriend, her family, and current boyfriend in Sun Prairie.

Police said he went to the womans house to exchange belongings on March 24 when he refused her order to leave, hit her, and blocked her from running away.

Last year, Jacobson and former Dells police officer Wayne Thomas were accused of forcing two National Guard members to lick urine from the ground after accusing them of urinating in public.

A lawsuit against the officers and the Dells is still pending in federal court.

Back by Popular Demand – Pink Bunny

Chris — Fri, 27 Mar 2009 03:32:51 +0000

“It’s almost tea time. I wonder if Kona Cat would like to have tea?” she thought.

She called Kona on the phone and asked her over for tea.

“I’d be delighted to come over for tea!” said Kona.

Pink Bunny put a few peppermint leaves in the teapot and then boiled the water in a kettle. Then she carefully poured the boiling water into the teapot.

She was careful because boiling water is dangerous.

Kona Cat arrived with a flower for Pink Bunny.

“Tulips are my favorite. Thank you, Kona!” exclaimed Pink Bunny.

After the tea had cooled down, they each took a sip of their tea.

“I love peppermint tea,” said Kona Cat.

“And there is nothing better than spending time with a good friend,” said Pink Bunny

The End

Loose Trousers At Mustang Ranch

Flashy — Sun, 22 Mar 2009 18:50:55 +0000

Peter Schiff writes:

Now that the Fed has recklessly shown its hand, the mad dash to get out of Treasuries and dollars should not be far off. The more the Fed prints to buy bonds the less the dollar is worth. Holders of our debt (read China and Japan) understand this dynamic. We must expect that they will not only refuse to buy new bonds, but they will look to unload those bonds they already own.

Under normal circumstances, if creditors grew concerned that inflation was eating into their returns, the Fed would raise interest rates to entice them to buy. However, the Fed will avoid this course of action as it fears higher rates are too heavy a burden for our debt-laden economy to bear. To maintain artificially low rates, the Fed will be forced to purchase trillions more debt then it expects as it becomes the only buyer in a sellers market.

Assuming you have read the full piece from which the above quote was taken, one could ask the question: Is Schiff alluding to Hemmingway? Hmmm, let’s follow this just for fun because, if the bell is tolling, as Schiff suggests, the question then becomes for whom? I love rhetorical riddles and this one really should sit for a spell before you reach your conclusion…

Schiff has been stunningly correct (but at times precisely incorrect in the short term) in his larger, longer, view of economic matters; when he speaks in terms of long term trends it would be wise to take him very seriously.

Being a student of George Reisman (pronounced rees-man), I see in Schiff much Reisman-esque thinking. Peter would wise to keep some of this to himself, however, lest he wish to face the fate of the Republicans who were persecuted after the rise of Francisco Franco… Who? What?

Too dramatic, you say?

Well, one should not be surprised to know that in most government schools Nazi Germany is a unit that is brought up totally out of context, eliminating, for all intents and purposes, the Spanish Civil War and its antecedents (particularly philosophical). Generally speaking, kids in government institutions being force-fed history do not get anywhere near the dose of context that is required to understand Hitler, the Nazis, and the gestalt of national socialism. But if you knew that the Spanish Civil war was a precursory or proxy for WWII, and you knew the philosophical fronts of the battles, would you not understand Nazism in a, well, actual way? Of course you would.

Of course, one of the primary reasons for the omission of the basis is more often than not that the institution itself and its education degreed automatons don’t understand the philosophical battles that were brewing, where those battles came from, either – at the end of the day they have a unit to present, and a fixed period of time to present it.. Pragmatism rules the government schools.

Similarly, in today’s analysis of economic matters people in general do not get any context in which government intervention is taking place. Schiff, however, is the antidote to much of this and is generally an inoculation to such context swapping and context blanking that is so obvious to some of us on the outside looking in.

Time will tell, but Peter’s rhetorical question at the end of his piece is loaded: “Got Gold?”

Well, yes. I do… nowhere near as much as I wish I had.

So, let me leave you with this thought: If you knew today that the price of gold will likely double in 12 to 18 months, and the value of the dollar would drop like a pair of loose trousers at the Mustang Ranch over the noon hour, what would you do?

Pictorial Version of a Bailout

Chris — Sun, 22 Mar 2009 12:45:38 +0000

What have we here? Someones car was underwater and someone tried to bail them out. Look at each successive picture and see what happens time and time again.

Just When You Thought It Was Safe to Get on the Lawn Tractor!

Our View — Tue, 17 Mar 2009 15:28:15 +0000

Our View has obtained the latest in a series of Glen Hartman, Hudson Police Officer at Large, training videos.

Brian Wilson missed the full story!

Absolutely Anonymous — Thu, 05 Mar 2009 02:14:59 +0000

Unnamed sources inside the Hudson School District have reported today that both members of the Hudson School District board, and certain administrators, were not satisfied with the digs, ambiance, and local weather at the Lowell Inn in Stillwater.

Instead, they decided to engage in what can only be described as a “swimming and sunning quorum” at the very hotel highlighted in this FoxNews piece. If true, this is an outrage.

I encourage concerned citizens to call the district and pester them about this and discover if there is any truth to this outrageous wasting of taxpayer funds.

On the BorderLine » Humor

Farve – Pants on the Ground!

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