Archive for Sarcasm
Sin Cup’s Wife: If You’re Gonna Get Laid I’m Gonna Get Paid..
Posted by: | Comments
A Tiger Woods holiday poem, by “Iron Mike” Tyson…
. . . . . . Twas the night of Thanksgiving, and out of the house, came Tiger Woods flying – being chased by his spouse
She wielded a nine-iron cause she wasnt too merry; a bimbos phone number she found on his Blackberry..
He’d been cheatin on poor little Elin, and as each day went by another whore came out squealin.
Hed been on Holly, on Jaime, on Rachel, on Cory, on Joslin, Kalika – TMZ had the story..
From the top of the world to above the fold, Tigers ever more sordid tale it was told.With hostesses, waitresses – he had lots of sex and when he wasnt hosen-em he sent them hot text.
He crashed his caddy, but didnt call OnStar – yet he played ’spank me daddy’ with a skanky old porn star.
Hes been naughty so with Santa he hasnt a chance, cept a big lump of coal to match the lump in his pants.
But despite all his cryin, and beggin, and pleadin, she went right out and bought a new house in Sweden!
And I heard her exclaim as she packed up the Escalade, IF YOURE GONNA GET LAID IM GONNA GET PAID..
Now shes not pouting, in fact of good cheer, cause her pre-nup made Christmas come early this year!
The Republican’s view of global warm’in
Posted by: | CommentsAnd if you listen carefully you can hear Sarah Palin in the background…
Mock Officer Glen Hartman Runs Mock Crash
Posted by: | CommentsGlen Hartman, mock officer on the Hudson Police Farce, coordinated the mock crash at the Hudson High School last week. Mr. Hartman, known for his rather worthless record, showed how real this type of crash could be. After the drunk driver was pulled from the wreckage, Officer Glen drover the drunk home to avoid taking the breathalizer. After waiting approximately 45 minutes, Officer Glen then drove back to the the drunk’s house and administered the test. While this is not the exact protocol that most police force’s use, it’s how Glen Hartman protects his favorite political buddies. So let’s go through just a little of Glen’s record- First he beats the sh.. out of an EMT on a helicopter pad, then he removes innocent citizens from a school board meeting, after that he gives Vicky Bear a ride home drunk! Was Officer Glen dismissed for this behavior? NO! He was PROMOTED! Way to go Glen!!!!
Must Read Humor
Posted by: | CommentsOne of the great scandals of our age is the fact that America spends more on food than any other nation. Many political leaders are now calling for urgent reform to bring spending on food under control. While food spending is rapidly increasing and many Americans are overweight, some do not have enough to eat.
In spite of this high spending, the United Nations reports that, according to surveys they sent to government officials around the world, the quality of U.S. food is ranked very low. Results from officials in France report that their food is the best in the world. Although that needs to be taken with a grain of Dijon, it might be true. More insulting is the higher ranking that British experts give their food.
Back by Popular Demand – Pink Bunny
Posted by: | Comments
“It’s almost tea time. I wonder if Kona Cat would like to have tea?” she thought.
She called Kona on the phone and asked her over for tea.
“I’d be delighted to come over for tea!” said Kona.
Pink Bunny put a few peppermint leaves in the teapot and then boiled the water in a kettle. Then she carefully poured the boiling water into the teapot.
She was careful because boiling water is dangerous.
Kona Cat arrived with a flower for Pink Bunny.
“Tulips are my favorite. Thank you, Kona!” exclaimed Pink Bunny.
After the tea had cooled down, they each took a sip of their tea.
“I love peppermint tea,” said Kona Cat.
“And there is nothing better than spending time with a good friend,” said Pink Bunny
The End
Brian Wilson missed the full story!
Posted by: | CommentsUnnamed sources inside the Hudson School District have reported today that both members of the Hudson School District board, and certain administrators, were not satisfied with the digs, ambiance, and local weather at the Lowell Inn in Stillwater.
Instead, they decided to engage in what can only be described as a “swimming and sunning quorum” at the very hotel highlighted in this FoxNews piece. If true, this is an outrage.
I encourage concerned citizens to call the district and pester them about this and discover if there is any truth to this outrageous wasting of taxpayer funds.