If it quacks like a Duck…
By
Looks as if someone is in denial…
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Friday, December 03, 2004
Recently Iíve been called a socialist for supporting the public schools in Hudson. Thatís a new concept for me so letís explore that idea a bit further.
I grew up in Redwood Falls, an agricultural town of 5,000 people in the extremely (extremely) flat plains of corn and soybean fields in southwestern Minnesota. On the political spectrum the residents would be considered very conservative.
A few years ago, the citizens of Redwood Falls passed a referendum to build a new high school and middle school. If I could talk with some of the citizens having coffee at the Copper Kettle Cafe the day after the referendum vote, I imagine it would sound something like this:
?Hi, my name is Bob Muchlinski. Iím a 1978 graduate of Redwood High. Mind if I talk to you about the vote?î
?No problem. Have a chair.î
?Thanks. You all voted for the referendum?î
?Yep.î
?Donít you realize that you voted for socialism?î
?Excuse me?î
?Donít you know you voted for an elitist monopolistic paradigm of collective socialism with coerced redistribution of wealth unchecked by free market forces and requiring a dichotomy of cooperation and social service with only subjective accountability and exacerbated by dismissing the sanctity of private property and failing to stress profit?î
?Did you swallow a dictionary?î
?No, I just want to sound smart.î
?Well, you sound pretty stupid.î
?Me?! Youíre the ones who voted to raise your taxes to build these Taj Mahal schools?î
?Bob, let us tell you how this works. The school buildings are getting old, theyíre crowded and theyíre out of date. They served their purpose for their time, but the town needs new school buildings. This is our town, so weíre going to build them.î
?But what about your taxes?!î
?Well sir, thereís no free lunch.î
Hmmm. Smart.
Bob Muchlinski
No related posts.
“Bob, let us tell you how this REALLY works. You see, Bob, all of us farmers out here in Redwood Falls, we are on the take too. Yup, it’s called the farm subsidy system. If we can’t sell all of our crops, the federal government comes in and buys up the balance. So, you see, its not out money anyway. We have never heard of the free market, don’t care to – competing is too hard, and why bother when someone else is buying all we can produce at artificially high prices… Next, you bring up socialism. Well, Bob, your right about that. But we are all just a bunch of moochers out here anyway because 80 percent of our school budget is paid for by some other sap, probably all those rich folks up in Minneapolis. At an 80 percent redistribution rate, we effectively build for 20 cents on the dollar – Bob, this is an easy one. If the State of Minnesota is going to pick up the tab to the tune of 80% of our costs we’d be pretty stupid not to take the money and run. Besides, Bob, those folks up in the twin cities they really don’t need the money anyway…… So, you see, Bob, this vote was a slam dunk because we were not voting to increase our taxes, we were voting to increase someone else’s taxes – get it? You’re a nice kid, Bob. Ever think of becoming a teacher? Oh, you are married to one? That’s even better – thanks for stopping by, Bob.”
Mr. Muchlinski sure has stated a mouthful of oxymorons in his last piece. It started with the “very conservative Minnesotan” and ended with the “no free lunch”.
Yup! I’d say them southwestern Minnesota farmers got it all figured out alright.