Wipe My Butt
By
Ronald Reagan once said that government believes if it moves then tax it. I don’t think the “Gipper” was thinking of bowel movements. Some Mayor from Nebraska has actually proposed putting a tax on sitting in the bathroom. Well the actual idea is to tax toilet paper. Man that hits me in the wallet.
Crap Tax
I remember someone saying that if you want less of something, then tax it. I started to think (standing up) about this. A tax on toilet paper could have some serious hygiene issues. We will either buy less toilet paper or do less wiping. In the end (hehehe), a little TC humor, I would suspect some poop may be left behind (hehehe). So the next time someone talks about sitting next to some smelly ass, they actually may mean it literally.
Now of course when you are roughing it in the woods, only a wimp would bring along their own roll. In nature one must improvise. Just watch out for the poison ivy. One time my friend Tom used the wrong leaf. His rear was slathered in pink calamine lotion for weeks. We nicknamed him “baboon butt”.
I am sure some women’s group will find the TP tax as a form of discrimination since women use the Charmin for number one and two where men can just shake it off, number one that is. Though without toilet paper, we could have a new dance called the Number 2 or the Wipeout.
I am sure the environmental nuts, like a local lawyer, find the idea of less toilet paper as another means to combat global warming, We will have waterless toilets filled with paperless poop. I guess we need to back to the days of the outhouse.
A tax on toilet paper is the final straw. Government can kiss my ass, wipe my ass, but it needs to keep its nose out of my ass business.
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